Never Feeling Enough

Lately, I've been feeling like nothing is ever enough. My mum tells me that's what happens in your 20's but I know that problems don't resolve magically. They take work. So, I thought I'd jump on here to say first of all that if you feel this way you are not alone. Also, don't believe it. Secondly, that if you're feeling like you are never content with your achievements there are things you can do to stop feeling that way! 

Take Stock of your Achievements 

I bet you have been so busy thinking about the things you haven't done that you have not allowed time to appreciate what you have. Take a moment or more to make a list (mental or otherwise) of all the things you have achieved over the last few months. Think about where you were in the last stage of your life and where you wanted to be. Most likely, what you thought life would be like is not how it turns out. That's okay! That's the beauty of the unpredictable nature of life. Unpredictable means insecure and we desperately want comfort, familiarity and stability. When we redirect our attitudes, we can notice that some of the best things result from chaos. Surprises can be fun and exciting! 

Compare in Other Ways

Comparison may be a killer but it's also incredibly difficult not to. While I advocate the practice of recognising when you compare yourself negatively to others, this can take years of training your mind. While you are on this journey, I suggest that you notice when comparison makes you feel bad and choose a different point of comparison instead. After all, nobody has a perfect life as life by nature is imperfect - that's what makes it beautiful. For example, I get jealous of my friends with cool jobs or this with a higher salary but they may be struggling with other issues like stress and fatigue due to that job or other problems in a different area of their lives. Recognising other people's struggles helps to put things into perspective and helps us be kinder not only to ourselves but to others. 

Recognising Your Value

You have so many strengths and talents. Yes! You do! You may minimise their importance but someone else will value them tremendously. For example, if you are a practical person others will value your ability to build furniture or fix clothing. If you are a creative thinker people around you will appreciate your abundance of ideas. If you are socially oriented, your friends and family may admire your ability to talk to anyone and make connections, or your insight into their problems. Some other overlooked strengths include being good listener, an honest communicator, showing love freely, applying your knowledge practically. 

Remember Where You Came From 

Development comes in many forms. I spent the best part of a year job seeking and feeling like I was going nowhere, but when I looked back I realised I had undergone a cognitive transformation. I had changed the way I value myself over that time and this is something worth celebrating in my books. So, next time you feel stuck, think about the goals you used to have that you have now achieved. Think about the mental state you used to be in and how you have changed. Think about your relationships with others and how you have forged new or stronger connections or reduced contact with people who don't add value to your life. 

It's easy to feel inadequate in this day and age. The internet doesn't help but I think it's cliché to attribute this solely to social media. For those of us who live in more densely populated environments this feeling is intensified by the inability to escape the clutches of social pressure: look a certain way, earn a certain amount of money, have a thousand hobbies, be productive 24/7. At the end of the day we have to remind ourselves that ultimately, it is only us that puts that pressure on ourselves. We can choose to say no. Even if you have people telling you to 'do better' the inside of your brain is only accessible to you. This means you can decide whether you want to let this thinking infect your self worth or break free from the cycle and live your life as an individual on your own unique path.