The secret to a peaceful life

Life can be chaotic. Other people don't help. You may have heard the saying "you can't control what other people do but you can control how you react." This is a very true statement. 

For one reason or another, people can be rude, selfish and put you at a significant disadvantage. As much as I would love to tell you the solution is teaching empathy in schools and having more respect for one another, I believe this is partly just human nature. There are circumstances and situations we cannot avoid. Bad ex's, disruptive neighbours, horrible bosses. 

When we ruminate over these people, their actions, their attitudes, how they harm us and affect our lives, we are essentially inviting them into our headspace. Someone might have insulted you and what transpired in the 30 seconds it took to speak the injury develops into hours of rumination in our minds. We think about it when we are going to sleep, commuting, eating, in those quiet moments of the day. These moments are supposed to give us peace and yet we allow them to be infected by thoughts of negativity. What can we do about this? 

I love the phrase "live in your head rent-free" because it speaks volumes to the idea that your thoughts can be conceived as objects in a space. Let's say it's a bedroom. When you notice yourself thinking in circles about a person who hurt you, imagine them running around your room knocking things off the shelves, unmaking the bed, pulling things out of drawers. Would you allow this person to wreck your physical space? No! You would tell them to stop.

When you think too much on a grievance without finding a solution, the thoughts morph from helpful problem-solving thoughts to unhelpful cognitive traps. All you are doing is letting that person take up space in your head. Space that could be used for helpful things like meal planning, thinking about people we love or deeply considering a philosophy. 

So, don't let those destructive things live in your brain rent-free. Evict them from your mental space and find a worthy tenant instead. 




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