Embracing Your Natural Beauty

This is a topic that is dear to my heart but which makes me nervous to write about. I am no expert in beauty or fashion. I struggle to keep up with my super simple skincare routine! But I do have lots of thoughts about what it means to feel beautiful and how society views beauty. 

I'm sure all of us would love to claim not to care about what others think of our appearance when, in reality, it dictates a large portion of our lives. I say I don't care then spend half an hour picking out what to wear to meet my friends for coffee. I find it hard to film and post my YouTube videos without wearing makeup. Constantly telling my friends to love themselves as they are knowing full well that pretty privilege is a thing and feeling like these niceties cannot apply to me if I want to achieve my goals in life.

The world is a contradiction when it comes to beauty standards. I believe this applies to all genders but is exacerbated for people who identify as female. Women feel we must be effortlessly attractive, dress according to trends but spend no time putting together outfits, be naturally gorgeous while for the majority of us the only way to meet today's criteria of 'beautiful' is to spend thousands each year on filler, extensions, brows, nails, hair removal...  

Yet, when we look closer, we see that beauty is increasingly seen as subjective and diverse. In the 1990's there was really only one version of beauty - super thin, blonde no matter your race, plumped glossy lips and almost non-existent eyebrows. Things got worse in the 2010's with social media photoshopping celebs and ordinary people alike into the blueprint of the 'perfect face'. Even now, it seems that algorithms prefer one standard model of beauty and our collective hive-minds are drawn into the same facial features and body types. However, yesterday I encountered the 'leggings legs' trend. I would normally advise you not to search this as it promotes harmful behaviours. Yet, when I searched 'leggings legs' on TikTok all that came up were thousands of videos advocating for body inclusivity! Fantastic! I was expecting to find thin teenagers showing off their thigh gaps the same as when I was a Tumblr teen but instead found a world wide web of people promoting their own personal beauty and encouraging others to love their bodies in all shapes and sizes. 

Now, I don't mean to claim there are no unattainable beauty standards on the internet. I simply wish to demonstrate that more and more people are recognising the value of personalised beauty - turning away from youth-worship, skinny privilege and manicured perfection and towards a vision of beauty which recognises that all bodies and faces are unique and that in and of itself is beauty manifest.

As individuals, we have little control over the masses. I can't make society's beauty standards change over night. So how can I change myself to accept my own personal beauty? To be less affected by what I see online? To compare myself to others and still know my worth? As always, I've got some helpful tips for embracing your own natural beauty. 

Give Up Your Beauty Routine for a Time

As an experiment, give up all primping and styling for a week or more. No shaving, no manicures, no makeup, wear clothes that are warm and comfortable. The rise of the clean girl aesthetic is attributed to the fact that, during the covid-19 pandemic, people became familiar with their natural faces again! So get comfortable with your natural body. Allow it to take up space. Recognise the innate beauty you were born with. It could be fun to see how much time you save too! 

See Nature's Beauty on Your Body

If you haven't yet seen them, some people have made videos comparing their bodies to the natural world. Ever notice how stretch marks look like lightning strikes? Cellulite dimples look like ocean waves or silky sand dunes? The curves of your body are like the rolling hills of the Lake District. Pimples and scars are like rain on the earth. Freckles are like dappled sunlight. You were born this way, why should that be a sin?

Look at Art

This is a technique I personally use when I am feeling particularly insecure. I look at paintings of women from a time when the standard of beauty was different to what it is today. When frustrated that my face is more round than sculpted, my lips are thin as is characteristic of a lot of European women, my skin has texture instead of being as smooth as glass. Looking at a plump woman with sharp lips, dimples on the small of her back, rounded belly resting on a cloud, embraced by her love or looking curiously across the scene. It normalises the natural figure and I cannot help but think that through art, I see these women as the artist saw them: mesmerizingly beautiful. It reminds me that beauty comes in so many forms. 

Insecurity is Selfish

Think of a feature you do not like about yourself. Now think of someone else who shares that feature. Imagine telling them they are undesirable. An example: Think hairy armpits are gross? Would you subjugate all women to eternally shave their body hair for the sake of beauty? Would you look Julia Roberts dead in the eyes on that red carpet and tell her she looks horrid because her body hair is present, because she forgot or ran out of time to shave to save your delicate disposition the displeasure of having to look at a natural feature of her body? This particular occurrence demonstrates the way the natural female body has been politicised in media for decades. 

This will not be the last time I write about beauty. It is a complex and contradictory topic. I hold the view that all bodies and faces hold beauty. If you prefer to pamper yourself with beauty treatments, enjoy spending time on your makeup and building the perfect wardrobe, if you get botox, filler, manicures etc. I fully support doing what makes you happy. We all deserve to adorn ourselves like royalty. Equally, I think these things should not be a pressure. My argument is one of conscious choice. The attempt to understand our position within social expectations and make decisions in spite of the instinct to fit in. My goal is a world where women's insecurities about their beauty are far smaller than their love for themselves. Self-love and self-acceptance manifest in many forms and are expressed through different rituals. So, whether you're a manicured masterpiece or an organic original I hope you give yourself all the love you deserve, with peace in your heart and confidence in your soul.