Live Like a Grandma

Several months on, I keep thinking of a few key moments from the Barbie movie involving older women. While the script makes out that cellulite is the worst effect the passing of time has on the female body, it also takes a moment to emphasise the beauty in ageing. 

In one particular scene, Barbie is crying at a bus stop and looks over to see an elderly woman sat next to her. After a heartfelt moment of staring at each other, Barbie says, "You're beautiful." To which the woman replies, "I know it." 

This scene made me cry both times I have seen it. I believe it is because I think older women truly are beautiful but they face so much hardship. Not only do they juggle looking after their families, redefining their identities in the face of retirement, ableism and ageism. Having studied the history of witchcraft academically, I am all too aware of the lack of value societies across Europe and the Western world afford old women.

Yet, my best friends and I think they are the bees knees. We call ourselves 'The Wenches' and hope to grow old disgracefully into hags who are a social nuisance. Personally, my Grandma is my biggest inspiration. She's bold, she's clever but she's not afraid to be kind and caring too. I believe old people have discovered the secret to living life in a fulfilling way. If you still don't understand, here are my top 5 reasons why I aspire to live like a Grandma: 

Wear What You Want

I feel like once you get to a certain age, you have curated a wardrobe that truly works for you. This consists of clothing that is:

• comfy
• long-lasting
• sustainable
• timeless
• warm
• practical

Being Outspoken

A lot of older women I know are not afraid to speak their minds. They're done living solely to please others. They know their worth and in the face of discrimination, they stand up for themselves. Sometimes, we youths get caught up in people pleasing behaviours, worrying about the future of our relationships if we don't bend ourselves to fit others. I'd like to be more confident in knowing I can express dissatisfaction with a friendship but still trust that person will continue to be in my life. That they won't hold being human against me. 

Independence

Most older people aggressively seek as much independence as they can get because they are afraid to lose it. While this may not be healthy in terms of accepting help when you genuinely need it, the idea of valuing independence and doing things your way on your own is highly applicable to young people. It can make us realise that instead of feeling lonely, it is a privilege to be able to do your own grocery shopping, go out on your own and be fully in charge of your own life (even if this is, in reality, quite boring). 

Adult Learning

I don't know about you but in my area, there are lots and lots of adult learning classes exclusively available to people aged 65 and over. With the free time that comes with retirement, older folks can grow their skills, improve something they have been working at for a long time, try something they've always wanted to try and get the social benefits of learning together. I say, why wait? Get inspired by the notion of learning for the enjoyment of it! Find something you know nothing about and give it a go!

Community-Minded

When we help each other, we all benefit. My Grandma volunteers for a charity a few hours a week, she helps out at fundraisers like fun runs and donates to charity often. She is always cooking meals for those in her social circle and checks up on her friends regularly to make sure everyone is doing okay. Truly a pillar for the community. 

In contrast, as a young person in the UK, I feel that my friends are spread out. I only call them once a month (if that!), I don't cook very often and I don't even know the names of half of my neighbours. I think having a local community to support and inspire is something that is really missing from modern life. We could all benefit hugely from developing a sense of community spirit, knowing that someone will be there to help should ever you need it. 

Of course, being old isn't always sunshine and rainbows. There are many complexities at play in this stage of life as there are at any age. Reduced mobility, susceptibility to illness, degrading senses, social isolation and for some, a pension which simply does not cover the cost of living are all very real, everyday problems to contend with. Not to mention the inevitable deaths of beloved friends, family and members of their communities. But, this blog is all about looking on the bright side! 

As a young person, I take a lot of inspiration from my Grandma. She is fiercely independent, resilient and has a sharp wit that only comes with experience. She has so many skills honed over the course of a lifetime and is always learning more - like painting, learning Mandarin and playing the piano. She knows herself and her values and proudly stands up for what she believes in. We can all take inspiration from our grandparents so take the time to pay them a visit or pick up the phone. You will both be glad you did.